“In the case of sexual violence among children, it is true that compared with adults, children lack the ability to realize that they engaged in a ‘sexual activity.’ But this does not mean that they do not know what they did was ‘bad.’ We need to make them understand that what they did was an act of violence.”

Parents find themselves with more to worry, after the recent news of sexual violence, in which a five-year-old girl, who went to a public day care center in Seongnam-si, Gyeonggi-do, was sexually assaulted by a boy (also five) in her class. This raised concerns among parents on education to prevent sexual violence among children, as well as education on how to handle such incidents after they occur.

Park Ji-a, head of the Gender Equality Education Center of the Seoul Foundation of Women and Family spoke with the Kyunghyang Shinmun over the phone on December 3 and said, “Brushing the incident away, as if it was nothing serious, as the parents in the Seongnam day care center incident, is the worst possible response.”

Even children engage in sexual activities. Masturbation in children is commonplace. But children are not clearly aware that such activities are sexual. Park said, “Children have a more vague distinction between play and sexual violence than adults, so it is clear that we cannot handle sexual assault between children in the same way as we deal with sexual assault by an adult.” At the same time, she said, “Parents need to teach this to their children and give the child a chance to change through education.” From this perspective, the response by the day care center director and the parents of the child offender, who thought it was enough to separate the child from his victim and to move on without a proper apology, was the worst possible response.

Then what kind of sex education can we provide to prevent sexual violence among children? Bae Jeong-won, director of the Happy Sex Culture Center said, “Even if we teach children the concept of sexual organs and sexual intercourse, it is likely they won’t understand.” She suggested, “As soon as they can understand language, we need to help them understand their right to make sexual decisions concerning their own bodies with constant discipline in their daily lives.” For instance, a mother can ask her child, “Can I kiss you, since Mommy loves you?” and the child can express his or her approval. By practicing this in everyday life, children can learn the concept of the right to sexual self-determination. Bae said, “That way, children can understand that when other people want to touch their bodies, or if they want to touch other people’s bodies, ‘sexual consent’ is required.”

Park stressed, “Parents need to provide children with a healthy education on how to be alert, by making it clear to their kids that even if the act is for fun, as an expression of affection, if it makes the other person uncomfortable or damages that person, it is clearly wrong and unacceptable.”

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